readers

Allot of readers in Germany, France and US this week. Makes me happy. To all of my reader, can't tell you enough how much your e-mails and blog-visits means to me. I hope you are all feeling the same when I answer your e-mail. If not, tell me what I can do better. I am so glad that I can help you and just talk to you anonymous and you likewise. If there's anything you'd like to know, say or just want to talk about... feel free to e-mail me at bonesforeternity@hotmail.com (I answer thoroughly and seriously at every e-mail)

modeltalk and workout-schedule

Hey guys!

I just got information about my internet-connection; it will be gone for some days. So this is the last post on a short time of period. I’ll have to solve it in another way because I need internet for work, mail, bank and blog.

It will be gone in an hour or two. So I’m in a hurry to get this out online.

Okay, what’s up…  I’m watching an old episode of Australia’s next top model and what can I say. Jordan is cool and Paloma got issues. But there are drop dead gorgeous both of them. I hope they’re having a good life now, and have grown up to be balanced women’s. ANTM and all the other next top model-series/ episodes are so not like the real deal, really.

Mom and dad are bringing my workout clothes today. Finally I’ll be start the best workout I’ve ever had probably (except… boxing which is the best exercise, no doubt)

I’ll just have fruits and greens (vegetables; red and green) as good as I can. Detox along with laxatives and cal/ fat-burn pills and workout. Must work, can’t fail this time.

So I guess I owe you a good update in a while with weight and bmi and workout/ food diary.

Take care for now readers and I’ll catch you later, hang in there!

Love

superannuated, reasonable & thinspo

I would like to welcome my new readers from/ in Slovakia, Russia and Bulgaria. Welcome!

I'm watching tv (not play channels online), it's so long time since I last saw a tv show on a tv screen.
It's mostly crap acctually, only commercials and big time poitless programs. But I do like the cooking programs, I'm stuffed, disgusted and satisfied after the show.

I'll now have 4 cups of coffee americano press coffee and I bottle of acqua frizzante and my pills.
Maybe some beans, yes. And then I'll go outside, for a walk. And go to the pharmacy!

And from one thing to another, I'm so excited for the upcoming training at the new gym.
I am myself reading another blog, and she wrote about her gym, with different classes and the wide range of fitness opportunities.



And then I started to 'investigate' this gym. And I found it very nice and welcoming. So yepp, I am really looking forward to go there. And get a fit and slimmed body, like those one's...

Anna Selezneva



Sasha Pivovarova

Confession

Life sucks.
I need more help, anorexia is wonderfull yet so awfull... terribly frightening.
I hate my life today, and I had bad thoughts earlier, anxiety from the moment I opened my eyes.
And when I was sleeping, I had a dream. I hugged a little boy (the boy in the film 'The stoning of Soraya M')
And I said, I'll miss you so much and I cryed, big... enormous tears rolled down from my eyes, they didn't stop. The just kept on tearing and I cryed my heart out... then I woke up.

At that point I realized that I've lost the battle, the battle I strictly ordered myself to not take against anorexia.
I will from now on never ever trust myself. I'm danger and pain towards everyone, me and you.

I I had some guts I'd probably kill myself, but I wont. Not today or tomorrow, but in the long run and from a different angle... I've been dead since long time, inside. Inside there's nothing left of me apart from a feeling small as a grain of sand, asking for help.

I want to craw under a blanchet, put on a movie... fall asleep and wake up on a golden field of seeds and flowers... a place where there's no more problems. A place called heaven.

Before I got fucked

Christ!

Like teasing, lovegame. I got fucked by anorexia before I got kissed today. Tomorrow we'll kiss, only. No one is getting fucked, mor than Lard.
I feel it, stupid me eating all that fucking food earlier! Baloon-belly. And I'll vry if the scale shows 57 or more tomorrow, so that's why I'm thinking of maybe not weight myself tomorrow. AH I¨m so stupid. I'm always thinking; "it's better if I eat ALL the food now, so there's no more to eat later" because we all know that if there's no food to eat, you simply don't eat.I feel fat, I have my period (!!!) so disgusting, what the fuck... I'm fat enought to carry a baby, and go through a healthy pregnancy...uhhhhg.

Nope, no more period, I'll skip it next month (by being thin enough to not have my period). I h a t e  fat, I really hate it. On myself, on others I don't care. I envy people who are normal or fat and are ok with it. But just the thought of being normal freaks me out.

Pills kickin in, my eyeslids shutting my eyes in shorter and shorter frequences.

Good night my lovers and mistresses. You and me again, tomorrow, to continue this dirty little huggermugger at bones forever. I feel like Hannah Montana with this schitzo-life.

counter

I added a counter-gadget to my blog, so that me and you can follow the "stats". It's in the left side, by the "follow by e-mail"-gadget is.
Re-counting... from zero.

Readers all over the world

This weeks readers amazes me!
Wow, I appriciate it so much. I reach out to eleven (11!) different countries!

I've had (so far this week) readers in:

1. Sweden
2. Canada
3. USA
4. UK
5. Malaysia
6. Ukraine
7. Australia
8. Germany
9. France
10. Philipines
11. Brazil

I can't help to wonder if you want anything else/ more/ less in my blog?
Help me to help you enjoy your reading even more.

I'm sorry

Hey guys.
Feel like shit, like a postorder my period came back today? and my mom said "you look normal, not too skinny" ... I'm a mess.
And I feel very disapointed in myself and the fact that I haven't delivered any info or anything else for that matter.... I've been off-work this last week and I have ache from head to toe.
Tomorrow aye, tomorrow this will be better. I feel that today was one step close to recatch that grip I lost recently.

Mom and me were just sitting in the sofa and giggleing, she had some wine and I just listened to her voice saying all those smart things, I love my mom. And I hope one day I will have that kind of knowlegde and motivation.

But for now all I have is fat, medz and a sad mind.

End of day and everything else

Hey.

I  h a t e  myself for eating all that I ate earlier today. But I'm okey with it, I'm not panicing or something but I was "sad" (head in my hands and taking heavy breaths of sadness and regrets). It made me realize something though...

I didn't want the food, or more after that. Like my body told me to not eat it, usually it's just my mind telling me not to eat anything, but now both my mind and body told me. I've been feeling sick (for real, close to vomiting) bacause of all the food, since I had it. Now I feel like I can hold myslef and the "semi-fasting"/ low carb diet/ menu for another week more or less.

At work I had only water and one espresso (doppio)
And I made the pizza-guy a Macchiato, he loved it. I told him that in Italy, pizza guys in Aosta drink macchiatos. I'm one awesome (coffe-)barista.

I think I'll try to get some pics of myself/ body. Most for my own cause but I'll share it with you here I think.
But not now, way to tierd.

I saw that I've had readers from Sweden, US and UK, so niiiiice!
I really appriciate you readign my blog, welcome.

Food:

In 
I don't want to talk about it but it's not over 1000 kcal

Out
Autoburn 1500
+
Workout/ job 1208
= 2708 kcal
Total: about -2000 kcal.

Don't forget to make my page a favourite, easy peasy! Just press the star in the upper left corner, and then I'll always just be a click away from you. http://bonesforever.blogspot.com/

Ano-Others

Today I checked out some swedish blogs, blogs like mine but yet different.
Which ones i read and liked- I'll post them another post because now I'm going to bed.

Today I've had readers in Australia, US, Sweden and Canada. Yesterday from almost the whole world.
Feel a bit better now, I haven't felt close to binge yet, good. But frozen banana would have been awesome.
But no no, bed time. And I never eat after 6 p.m.

Good (best) night readers!