Fat vs muscles

When starving you starve fat, muscles and your brain. Eat what you need and listen to your body, what does it want? Great work out and right/ good food is better than starving, because you get binge/ cravings and tons of OCD symptoms when your brain is getting starved and that leads to even wors eating disorders. Check this out:

Think straight

Before I got fucked

Christ!

Like teasing, lovegame. I got fucked by anorexia before I got kissed today. Tomorrow we'll kiss, only. No one is getting fucked, mor than Lard.
I feel it, stupid me eating all that fucking food earlier! Baloon-belly. And I'll vry if the scale shows 57 or more tomorrow, so that's why I'm thinking of maybe not weight myself tomorrow. AH I¨m so stupid. I'm always thinking; "it's better if I eat ALL the food now, so there's no more to eat later" because we all know that if there's no food to eat, you simply don't eat.I feel fat, I have my period (!!!) so disgusting, what the fuck... I'm fat enought to carry a baby, and go through a healthy pregnancy...uhhhhg.

Nope, no more period, I'll skip it next month (by being thin enough to not have my period). I h a t e  fat, I really hate it. On myself, on others I don't care. I envy people who are normal or fat and are ok with it. But just the thought of being normal freaks me out.

Pills kickin in, my eyeslids shutting my eyes in shorter and shorter frequences.

Good night my lovers and mistresses. You and me again, tomorrow, to continue this dirty little huggermugger at bones forever. I feel like Hannah Montana with this schitzo-life.

I'm sorry

Hey guys.
Feel like shit, like a postorder my period came back today? and my mom said "you look normal, not too skinny" ... I'm a mess.
And I feel very disapointed in myself and the fact that I haven't delivered any info or anything else for that matter.... I've been off-work this last week and I have ache from head to toe.
Tomorrow aye, tomorrow this will be better. I feel that today was one step close to recatch that grip I lost recently.

Mom and me were just sitting in the sofa and giggleing, she had some wine and I just listened to her voice saying all those smart things, I love my mom. And I hope one day I will have that kind of knowlegde and motivation.

But for now all I have is fat, medz and a sad mind.

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fuck.