chimeras trix

Hey.
It has been a while since I last wrote.
And that´s because Me and S had had a long weekend, with not far from just time for each other. And yesterday I had myself a tattoo. Fucking hurts on the back of your leg, but I made it through, without any mistakes or twitches done.
3 hours it took, but I had a tattoo made by the countries best tattoo artist.

I think about my body allot, but I seem smaller and smaller for every day that passes. But I don't know if I'm actually loosing weight or if I'm just getting used to the reality. You see, scales aren't allowed in this home, well they are, but If I had a scale I would stand up on it everyday. And to think of doing that, hurts even more than the tattoo did.

I've had chats and deeper conversations with people in my surrounding about my e.d.'s and anorexia. It helped, S's mom and S are like my saviors. I'm so grateful for every friends presence and extensive help. If I'm just busy with family and friends or something else I can bare my disease a bit easier. So thank you for that. I'm really fortunate to have those families and friends I can talk to, someones... got no one.
But I'm here for anyone who just wan't to talk about anything!

modeltalk and workout-schedule

Hey guys!

I just got information about my internet-connection; it will be gone for some days. So this is the last post on a short time of period. I’ll have to solve it in another way because I need internet for work, mail, bank and blog.

It will be gone in an hour or two. So I’m in a hurry to get this out online.

Okay, what’s up…  I’m watching an old episode of Australia’s next top model and what can I say. Jordan is cool and Paloma got issues. But there are drop dead gorgeous both of them. I hope they’re having a good life now, and have grown up to be balanced women’s. ANTM and all the other next top model-series/ episodes are so not like the real deal, really.

Mom and dad are bringing my workout clothes today. Finally I’ll be start the best workout I’ve ever had probably (except… boxing which is the best exercise, no doubt)

I’ll just have fruits and greens (vegetables; red and green) as good as I can. Detox along with laxatives and cal/ fat-burn pills and workout. Must work, can’t fail this time.

So I guess I owe you a good update in a while with weight and bmi and workout/ food diary.

Take care for now readers and I’ll catch you later, hang in there!

Love

Praise the Lard

Praise the lard, it's leaving and may it forever rest in peace!

Isn’t it a wonderful morning folks? In my eyes I am a bomb of fat at 65 kilos and ready to explode, but the scale showed me the truth today, because the scale never lie.

56.8, (bmi 18.29) is today’s weight, I thought it was broken when it showed the numbers. Because the last week I was a mess and I was bingeing and craving and I weighed 57, at the time it started.

I wasn’t supposed to weigh myself today, but I did. I wanted some motivation for today. But if the scale had showed higher numbers. Well I would have run my ass of and tried to be sad to 100% but just being able to have that awful feeling inside (anxiety). But instead I had the motivation to be happy, no not happy, but positive to the future and the day. Crea Diem, aye!

Work at 5.30 p.m. today.