At rest burns about 1500 kcal / day... more info

My work - model. Through agencies I get booked, for what ever the clients want. (I don't do fur or Gaga meat-dress-ish). And I have a second job too, waitress... and that's where I've been now this evening.

Holy virgin mother Mary and her son jesus christ and everyone else! Overbooked, full house! Running around for 5½ h, the sweat was dripping from my forehead, (for real). But I made it, and that's a work out according to me... (if you don't belive me... try it out and you'll change your mind) My whole body aches, like I've been at a full bodypump session.

I still haven't had any food more than the tomato and apple. So I'll do a quick calc. of in/out kcal/ today.
And today I'll acctually star adding normal/ by it self- kcal burn, which is [NOTICE!]: An adult at rest burns about 1500 kcal / day, normal activities, usually about 2000-3000 kcal / day. And witch (kcal) food I rounding up and rounding down with (kcal) training. So I'll take the lowest (1500) even if I've been out earlier today, and I'll also add work tonight, which I counter up to -1546.


In: 72
Out: 3046

Total: -2974 kcal.

I feel good when I starve, it's not only about my head wants me to be thin. It's like a reward to feel emptiness. It's a self injury and it's opposit at the same time, I don't feel bad, thats one thing for sure. Let me starve and I'll give you a smile.

Bye for now readers, you make my day!

Drained of blood and sugarfree-sushi-fied

Hi y'all. I'm so sorry for not posting anything during the day!
But here's what I've been up too...

I'v been out all day. Started of in the morning with daddy taking me to the Doctor, where they drained me of blood. You have no idea! Needle in my arm and they just sucked it out, filled them tubes like they've only filled tubes with blood for a living their whole life.

Then we went to a bigger hospital for some other stuff. And then we went to a sushi bar. I had rice rolls, and avocado 8 peices.
Foor everbodys awareness; They have sugar in sushirice so be sure to ask them and have them to make you sugarfree, mayofree, vegetable avo/rice-rolls. Wasabi is also containing sugar... And I'm not sure about the soysauce, but it'd surprise me if there were no sugar in it. (I'm not eating soysauce anyhow)

Me and dad we went to the furnitureshop to pick up some stuff and then we headed back home. While at home I had my sushi, it was so nice and free from devilish ingredients. (This was my breakfast)

After that I streamed som movies at my computer and... crashed. Until now and now I'm going to bed. So exhausted!!!

I had my exam diploma sent over today. Happy graduation or something, this has been the worst year ever. Since end of July I've not had one day of 100% joy. At some point every single day since july 2010 I've been feeling that I would be better if I wasn't around or I'm not worth the struggle.
A friend of mine, her mom said something very touching earlier today when I mentioned that I was afraid nut yet exited about that I'm about to start going on cognitive behavioral therapy. She quoted a booktitle "You should '(...) live a life, not win a war' "

Now I had some prunes (dryed plums) for supper/ snacks.
And I'm so thirsty! (prob. from the sushi)

Anyway, I'm going to bed for some more nightmares... looking forward to it (being ironic). This life sucks, but there's people out there having it way worse than I. I were in India for 2 months, arrived back home in mid april. I'll never ever go back and I'll never ever forget what I saw ( wen't with my class, as a part of the course)

Goodnight readers, hope your day was better than mine! My day was not bad, it just, well let's say that the day did not get the proper justice it deserves.

Food diary:
Sugar and Mayo-free Sushi - 8 pieces.
50 g dryed plums

Work out tips

Stand up, I've been standing up since I got connected to internet (it's now at 2h 56min 32sec) tighten your but, push it in and tighten you core, suck it in. Free and easy. Stand up while surfing online.
And be and stretched in your back and neck, feet distance shall be like right under your shoulders, and soften up you knees.

Very well, bye.