Cravings and Meeting with Dr

Hey, it’s early morning.

I’m up, dinking my morning coffee.

Yesterday was too much to handle, instead of breaking out a panic and anxiety attack, I ate.

Fries, no oil just pan fried. And a dip with garlic, chili and dill, like hamburger dressing.

S (boyfriend), told me to stop my cravings but I didn’t. And I gave him a promise that I won’t be going down anxiety lane. I almost did, but I didn’t!

It has come to me, that if I drink coffee after cravings, it’s not that hard, it’s tough but not unbearable.

I’m sitting here now though, thinking on laxatives. To get rid of everything inside me, but I don’t want to mess up the salinity and fluid balance.

So I drink coffee, it’s not good either, but it’s not as destructive as laxatives.

Today at 10 a.m. I’ll be seeing a doctor for further treatment. It’s quite expensive to be hospitalized so that’s the only reason I want go get out of there. But I need to be there, because being home makes me sick in every kind of way, apart from S (boyfriend), E (roomie) and G (dog).

Tell you more about it after.