Part two - what tears me up

What tears me up is when my issues and illness goes out over my loved ones, when what harms me harms others.
When I see rookies, young girls who just started this eating disorders. I want to punch them so hard right in their face and grab their shoulders and shake them so hard that all they think is imoprtant. I want to cry and shout in their face so loud and uncontrolled that I spit on them by acctident! I want to show them a movie of my life, I want them to read the story of my life. I want to show pictures of me and f others while sick. Some of those 'others' aren't alive anylonger. How the fuck is it possible to WAN'T to get ill with anorexia. I want to scare them so they shit their skinny jeans... But most of all, I just want to hug them and kiss their forheads and tell them it will be allright, just please stop what you're about to become before it's too late.

What tears me apart is when I feel like I have no right to be sick and fell the way I do because there's others in this world whos lifes is 100 times worse then mine. I have a roof over my head I have food I have friends and a mother and a father. I' engaged to the most beautiful soul walking on this earth. I am a western young adult with a smartphone, laptop and lots of 'likes' and friends on facebook.
What tears me apart is the society - societies, the government - the governments... the rich - the richer, the wealthier. The division of the people, the people of the same earth, we are all earthlings. We all deserve to be treated so much better, we need to be taken seriously. We need to stand up for our rights. Becaus you're damn right I'm teard apart by laws and government, no government can ever give you freedom.

I'm sick and tierd of almost every one acctually, except a hand full of people. And those are the ones I give my time to, and they give their time back. It is an exchange of everyone's time, heart and soul.

I wold love to love everyone and be satisfied.... but I can't. There's so much hate inside of me. The rage is oozing out of my skin. I'm sick of fascists, capitalist and people who think they are anarchists. I'm sick of communists, and thos kind of "feminists" who want to have their fun too, simply by making all 'men' less important and not equal to the woman. Why bother the sexes, the color of skins and why respect the lands borders? Borders are giving birth to violence and racism. And borders make wars, wars make people rich... sorry... war is making rich people richer! Profit is raised by some one elses misfortunes and other people's life or death more like.
What tears me up is when I dont get trusted when people don't belive my word, what I've seen with my own eyes. What I've held in my own hands. Tears I've dried, blood I've wiped...
I've seen some pretty bad shit going on in a few countries in Africa, in India, Bangladesh, Italy, Denmark, Sweden, Norway, Finland, Nepal, Poland.. you name any country and i can tell you a shitty story from the ones that have no voice. I've seen people lying on the ground begging for money without any hands!!! 2012!!!! What the fuck WERE is the responsibilities, when are people gonna open their eyes for whats really going on. In Italy Red Cross perform gross mistreatment and abuse of detained refugees at detention centers.
People like me, who riot, not for the love of violence but for solidarity and the desire to make the world a better place, a equal place. A nice place with out any judging..... And you people who belive in God or Allah or any other/ others don't judge. "Only God can" and "If Allah want"  and on and on...
What about just try to like each other, give everyone a chance to prove them selves. I have a problem with it, I am saying this to myself too!! I'm not the best person walking this earth. But I have come a long waytowards aless fucked up future.
I think most of my proplems is because of guilt I have, remorse. I know to much to be able to feel good. But I don't regret learning this and the knowledge I have. I'm just asking everyone to be a bit more skeptical and constructive towards the ones who govern, the military, the kings and queens, lands borders AND MOST OF ALL, remember this!!!! DO NOT TAKE THE NEWS AS THE TRUTH!
Think by yourself for once. Go see it with your own eyes, because some thing you have to see to belive...
This is not very much about anorexia or e.d.'s as you could tell. So this has to stop right here.