It's a new day - it's a new dawn - it's a new life

Hey everyone.

Sorry for last day, but I made it through.
This night has been the worst in a long time, barely any sleep just rolling around in bed.

But what made me stay in bed and not go up was that I need sleep and rest so that I won't get another attack today.
Is someone taking lithium, I say to my PhD and the others involved that I don't want it, but maybe I should take it after all? Whaat do you think, what do you know or feel about lithium. I'm scared of it, I don't want to lose myself to something like 'being normal' or being ... 'nothing', blank.

I feel that my manic and depressive trend, behavior, my personality is everything I got. Who am I without it?


Anyhoooow...
I woke up, had my capsules.
I called my doctor, because they've send me some papers. I'm going on a routinecheck at some point in this up coming 2 weeks. Check this out: I'm going to the doctor for routine check to check my values​​. So many, always an entire list. The list this time:
Urine, blood gas, Hormones, ferritin, Medicines, cortisol (cobalamin Fotal), Cardiac Markers, Homocyestin, P-glucose, THS T3 T4, Coagulation, PSA, hematology, hemoglobin A1c, General Chemistry, Folat/Li/S100/Vank, Calciumjon, CDT , PK, Basic Chemistry, IgG / Hapto / Oroso, Basöverskott, Zinc, ACTH, Tacrolimus, Cyclosporin, Glucose

After my chat with Mr PhD, I was about to eat my food witch I prepared last night.
Oatmeals (½dl) and 2 tablespoons of psylliumseeds soaking in 3dl water over night in the fridge. I added 2 more dl of water (let it soak for 15 more minutes) and cooked it on low (3) in 25 minutes... It took me about... a bit more than 1 hour to eat this and I'm sooooo stuffed! I'm full (hate being full) So tomorrows breakfast will be less than this one I think.

Kcal for this breakfast I had along with a caynenne/ cinnamon-coffee (with 2 teaspoons of cayenne powder and 1 teaspoon of cinnamon mixed in the coffee powder) is a total of 65 kcal. It's like... I can eat this 3times a day and it will be only 195 kcal (!) less than 200. But I need variaty. So it's good for just breakfast. Dinner I don't have (I only eat like 2 times a day) And never ever after 6 p.m.

Cheers mate (taking a sipp of my cayenne/ cinnamon- coffee. -yummy!
Love you, thank's for your support!