15/11- 2010
Yes today it's 7 days since I were taken to the psychiatric emergency room. It makes me kind of sad, because just because my weight is pretty normal (right now) I didn't get the help I wanted this time. One time a doctor at my at my local health center said, "well obviously you have anorexia, but you are to big to get help". Who the fuck says something like that to anyone with eating disorders, seriously? And I've been afraid ever since, to go for the help I need. This week has been very starving/ fasting, but without physically pain, mentally it's been very rough. I've really tried to eat a very small amount of food but it just not working, I can't get it in to my mouth.
I weighed myself this morning 58.0, that meens I've lost 3.1 kilos this week (started to weigh myself 4 days ago, so in 4 days I've lost 3.1 kg) with just easy exercise, like sitting straight up in chairs, lifting my legs up and down while sitting on the chair, and walking very short distances. That makes my BMI whith my 175 cm and 58 kilos, 18.9.
I will probably eat a tomato or apple today, haven't decided yet.
Food: 1 crispbread with hummus, 25g. 1 apple just under 100g (80g)
Mood: Very tired. And really think I deserve just something small to eat after one day of fasting. Upd: It was nice to eat something but now I feel terrible, will go out for a walk.
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